Advantages and Disadvantages of Tourism (3 November)
Justification
This essay was a homework for Practical language and I decided to use it here as an artefact, because, unlike in other writings I do, I have a feedback written by a teacher to this one.
This was my writing:
Traveling for fun has become one of the most popular pastime activities. Whether for longer stays or just quick road trips, people now visit any places they can think of. Some say that countries or even particular cities should be grateful for it, but is it really that beneficial?
Tourists are undoubtedly a source of considerable revenue which is made quite easily. By paying for hotels, guided tours, food and souvenirs, they support the local economy and even help to reduce unemployment rates. Moreover, meeting new people as well as learning about other cultures, traditions and even religions broadens one’s horizons and is thought to be very beneficial not only to personal growth. The attractions, therefore, gain a lot while they do not have to provide much.
On the other hand, increased migration is connected to a number of drawbacks. With such large masses of people, it is complicated to keep track of (potentially) dangerous individuals, not only from foreign countries, various diseases can spread easily and the overall pollution rises. Another argument supporting the calls for limiting tourism is the impact of the visitors on the sites themselves. Cities are packed with crowds, which has an impact on traffic, both on roads and pavements, and pristine nature becomes more and more touched by human hands.
To sum up, even though tourism is connected to some risks and disadvantages, I believe that it presents many benefits if reasonably controlled.
Reflection:
Writing this essay was not very complicated. I spent most of the time thinking up the pros and cons of travelling which could be described briefly but logically and made sense when put together. When I finished, I spent some time condensing it, so it is not longer than the given length (too bad that I read the instructions wrong and made it too short ;) ).
My teacher, Mrs Ailsa Marion Randall, suggested these changes:
Over the past decades traveling for fun has become one of the most popular pastime activities.
Tourists are undoubtedly a source of considerable revenue which is made quite easily.
Cities are packed with crowds, which has an impact on traffic, both on roads and pavements, and pristine nature becomes more and more touched by human hands.
The final evaluation:
Points: 8/10
This is generally well written but the length is really a lot shorter than the recommended one. Otherwise quite well written with a few corrections to look at. The structure is good.